Classic Bob – If this guy is a member of the 1%, maybe I don’t want to be….

Someone asked me to start posting some of my original – Classic Bob – email rants which inspired this blog.  Here’s one first prepared November 15, 2011, at the height of the “Occupy” movement:

My attention was drawn to this article in some lefty rag, where the author confesses to the mortal sin of being a member of the “1%” and discusses the anguish and loneliness that comes with it.

Boy, talk about a first world problem!

I’m going to ask the obvious question. If he felt so bad about his wealth, why did he accept it? After all, wealth isn’t analogous to poverty. If you’re poor, it isn’t easy to become rich – if it were, who would be poor? On the other hand, if you’re rich, it’s really easy to become poor (“invest in Yellow Pages you say?”). But instead of giving away his  (by his admission) wholly undeserved wealth, he  wants the government to tax the incomes of those who have earned their wealth (i.e. Wall Street CEOs). Anyone else see the moral cowardice there? By taxing everyone, he gets to keep a portion of his unearned wealth. Dude, the Wall Street CEO works for a living, he can keep what he earns, but you, you trust fund shit, you’re a parasite.  Gimme that money and get a fucking job!

Furthermore, he laments that, while he’s doing fine, his friends are wallowing with student loans. I don’t get it, couldn’t he have told his folks “thanks, mom and dad, but I don’t think that I’m entitled to the benefit of all your hard work (which benefit I haven’t earned), I’d like to pay for my education myself” and take on loans and jobs like everyone else? Oh, I guess he feels bad about being wealthy, but not THAT bad. Maybe he suffers from Michael Moore syndrome (“Sure, I’m richer than god, but I’m not really one of the 1% because I care. By the way, have you seen the new unicorn stable at my gazillion dollar house?”) and feels that he’s different from the other members of the 1%? Plus, do you know what the tuition is for the masters in Philosophy, Cosmology, and Consciousness program at the California Institute of Integral studies? (Seriously, I’m not making this shit up.  This guy’s bio reads like a laundry list of the world’s flakiest degrees). You can’t expect him to pay for that himself!

If anything, this guy shouldn’t be feeling shame for being a member of the 1%. He should be feeling shame for being the douchiest member of the 1% (and for being an inestimable ass-clown to boot), for sponging off his parents’ wealth while pursuing ass-hat degrees at pseudo-schools, and for getting involved with flaky causes (which apparently involves travelling to assorted conferences, no doubt funded by the bank-o-mom-and-dad), all instead of using his advantages to do something productive with his life. If he’s a member of the 1%, it’s because the 99% don’t want him!

Finally, did anyone notice his use of the term “people of wealth”, no doubt consciously echoing the “people of colour” expression adopted by the NAACP a few years ago? It looks like we have a new disadvantaged group popping up. Hey, the wealthy have always been a despised minority, so it was only a matter of time before they started seeking recognition of that fact. Does this mean that the “occupy wall street” crowd are liable to be rounded up and imprisoned for promoting hatred against an identifiable group?

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